Four Reflections After Taking Time Away From Writing

Jamila Medley
5 min readSep 24, 2022
Photo by Cristofer Maximilian on Unsplash

Two months ago I stopped writing to focus on my paid work. I was excited to see my earnings finally increase to something that felt fair to me. I wanted to commit to the process that was guiding me towards financial stability and independence for the first time in nearly two decades.

At the time, I understood that to mean that writing as a practice would have to take a back seat, at least for a little while. Well, yesterday I acknowledged that this leg of my journey is at an end. It’s time to return to more of me, which includes writing.

The last two months have been AMAZING though. I have done things that seemed way too out of the box for me, met new people, and missed some things about the new ways of being in relationship to myself I had been cultivating since leaving my full-time job last year. Now ready to return to writing, I have these gleanings to share.

Girl trips in your 40s are epic! A friend of mine since high school invited me and others to a tropical island to celebrate her birthday. The decision to go wasn’t easy for me to make. I was going to take thousands of dollars of my earnings — between accommodations, airfare, and fun — to spend on myself over the course of 3 nights and 4 days.

For a while it felt irresponsible, selfish, and overly indulgent. After all, I have a family. My daughter needs to go to the orthodontist. Our old car needs repairs. We’re supposed to finally schedule time to talk to the financial advisor and give them money to help us plan for the future. There are so many ways that my money needs to be spent that don’t include a tropical vacation and visit to one of the top 10 beaches in the world.

Besides, I’m not that person. You know, the one who does girl trips. Especially since I have never done one before. While many friends and acquaintances my age were doing study abroad programs during college, visiting foreign countries in their twenties, and yeah, having epic girl trips, I spent that part of my life raising my daughter. I’ve never been in a position to think about enjoying myself at this level in a way that I could afford on my own.

But guess what!? In 2022, I earned enough money to treat myself to this vacation. And, I can still take care of the car, orthodontist…

Jamila Medley

I write to reflect on & learn how to live more authentically, slowly, & intentionally in a culture that dares you to go against the grain.